I have seriously realized what an addict to food I am this week. I took on the HCG diet with full excitement and lost 5 pounds in 5 days and then the weekend came. Warren and I went out. I love food. I love treats. I love snacks. I love freedom.
But I hate that I can't fit into my clothes at the moment. From 100 pounds to 113 and I can't squeeze into my summer shorts.
Anger.
I've been rather emotional having to refrain from some of the treats that I love this week. I honestly think it is similar to an addicts weaning process. I didn't think it would have such an effect on me! I have had talk myself through it a few times... "It's not THAT tasty is it?"
I mean come on Tais! It's just food. I have realized that I am NOT hungry when I eat. I like to eat because it tastes good. Brownie batter is TOO tasty. These HCG drops really have made me see that. I'm simply not hungry and yet at 10 PM I want a treat. I'm not even craving a treat, I just want it. Charleston Chews as of late, and Maverik is too darn close.
What do I do about this? Does it mean I go out and get the next size of clothing as to potentially set myself up for a gradual climb in sizes? yikes.
All I want is to get down to 100- back where I was in Jan and stay there.
oh yeah, AND eat whatever I want.
When I did weight watchers a couple years ago it took me 6 months to loose 23 pounds.
I am not a patient person. Yes- crash diets appeal to me. There it is.
on to the next portion of my rant....
I hate meal planning. We have been eating the same things lately and I can't seem to love dinner time! Not to mention my kids are horribly finicky about food. I am constantly trying to beef up the calories in THEIR meals and strip down my own. ughhh.
Have I mentioned that I hate exercise? I am the laziest person that I know! After 20 mins I figure- It's better than nothing eh? I want to do something else....
I used to dance 6 hours a day {not an exaggeration 4-10 pm were my classes} and I loved it! I wish I could afford to do that again. $$$ wise and time wise. I tricked myself into exercise back then. Didn't even feel like it. No dread.
Probably going to be a lifetime battle- me and weight. These issues run in my family {not an excuse, but I DO have some deep rooted beliefs} and it's hard to eat healthy. I mean really and truly without effort eat. healthy. As in... a habit - something that comes without thinking really.
8 comments:
I have the same battle with myself EVERY day. I weigh myself atleast once a day, and am constantly counting and adding up the calories of everything I eat. Some days I'm more psycho than other days, but still... it's a problem. So, I see it this way. I would rather be a little bit more curvy, eat what I want (maintane) and be HAPPY, then hungry and grumpy all day just to fit into a smaller size. Not worth it. It's all about moderation. Anyway, hang in there, we ALL wish we were skinnier. If it makes you feel any better, I would LOVE to be as small as you! =)
P.S- I LOVE your honesty!
I hear you with the exercise thing. I so wish I could go back to some fun dance classes to stay in shape. I get so bored, too!
I love treats too. I wish I didn't but I do. You make me laugh Taisley, cause you are so real! :)
i am a treat addict! its normal to have a bowl of ice cream every night right? and two if your pregnant like me of course, cuz thats what ive been doing. and i wonder why i gain 50 lbs with every pregnancy....
i would rather clean than meal plan and cook. if i had to hire one person, it would be to plan all the meals. my firstborn is as picky as they come. and things he used to eat last month or last year, he wont eat now. like you, im trying to GET them to eat and trying to CUT DOWN on what im eating. which usually means cooking two meals and now the baby is eating food too, but not what the rest of us are eating. UGH!!
If you get tired of the hcg thing, try medifast- or TSFL. its pricey but works and its FAST! it replaces all meals but one. i did it before i got preg with max and i as at my skinniest since high school and didnt have to do it that long. plus if you want to "sell" it you can get others to sign up and then get your food for free. :)
how much of a coincidence is it that i read this about 15 minutes after downing TWO packs of ramen noodles and TWO vanilla cokes? its going to be (and has been) a long pregnancy full of crappy eating habits. that is going to be fun to deal with around oct. 25. what is it about getting older and not only does your body work against you, but i swear your cravings do too?! i couldn't have cared less whether i had a daily coke in high school, now i wake up thinking about it. awesome.
So I'm not the only one? Lol. After the baby, I've now plateaued at about fifteen pounds overweight, and it's driving me crazy! Plus, while I love having my mom here on and off to help with the kids, she's constantly stocking my fridge full of ice cream sandwiches and my cupboards full of Twinkies and candy bars. *sigh* Oh, and I also feel that we've been eating the same things over and over for dinner lately. I hate cooking right now.
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